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Genie Spoilers

Interested in getting a flavor of the Genie? Here are some snippets from different episodes. Please note: sometimes things change and artifacts may not be exactly as listed here.

First Letter (artifact: magic Lamp)

…I am a Genie.  Not just any Genie, you understand, but a Genie of a Lamp.  There are Genies and Genies, but Genies of Lamps are universally known to be the best Genies of all.  We are the brightest, most powerful, most helpful, most magnificent Genies of all Geniedom, and also we have the most stories written about us.  All the centuries of my life I have been proud to be a Genie of a Lamp…


…I have lived in this Lamp for hundreds of years.  I have never left it before except when someone rubbed it and I appeared to grant a wish.  I have never needed to leave it. Always before I have appeared as a great swirling cloud of purple, green, and orange smoke.  It feels strange, slipping out of the spout in a little gray wisp, trying not to be noticed. The shopkeeper is busy with a customer who is haggling over a second hand electric screwdriver.  Seriously. If she had just picked up my Lamp and given it a little rub I could have renovated her whole house in less than half a minute…

Second Letter (artifact: vintage cricket box)

…I felt that old, familiar feeling go through me, where my power surges up and my smoke turns all the colors of the rainbow. I felt health and life and strength shoot out of me like fireworks, and a million bells rang. Then everything calmed down, and I was back in the trash can, looking out at him from under a Snickers wrapper…

Third Letter (artifact: cowry shell)

…I was awoken at dawn by a strange, sucking feeling on my cowry shell – a summons to work. I billowed out dutifully in a big cloud of smoke, and found myself looking at a small, surprised octopus. He stared at me with wide eyes.

“Ask what you will and it shall be done!” I told him.

“What is the square root of eight?” asked the octopus.

“I don’t do math problems,” I said. “I grant wishes. I’m a Genie, not a calculator.”…

Fourth Letter (artifact: old fashioned spectacles in case)

…That day he didn’t say anything at all. I waited and waited, and watched the tears run down the furrows of his face and fall down onto the spectacle case.  I shouted over and over, “Mr. Bramley! Mr. Bramley, make a wish!” but he didn’t hear me and he didn’t look up.

I felt so sorry for him, O Kindly Friend. He was such a nice old man. I sat by him and put a tendril of smoke around his shoulders and tried to wipe his cheeks dry with mist. It didn’t work very well. In the end I crept back into the case, which was all damp with his tears, and tried to sleep…

Final Letter (multiple artifacts)

…“It is not enough,” I replied. “I made an entire country suffer from famine and plague. I have death and destruction on my conscience.  I am not a good Genie. I should stay here and freeze.”

“Get up,” you said. “How does it make anything better if you just lie here? If you feel bad, go and fix it. Get up off your smoky butt and do something.”

O Wise Friend, I knew at that moment you were right. I rose from the rock, and you reached out with your hand and helped me up…


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